I Do Not Understand Poem by Chime Justice Ndubuisi

I Do Not Understand

Rating: 4.5


For me, it started before I was born
Fear and pain became everything.

We fear about almost everything
We are frightened men!
Even when the night of our childhood
Is fast gone, we fear the unknown,
We rise up, fear and pain bring us down.
Life still brings trouble to our homestead.
I do not understand,
Mother, why am I so helpless?
Father, why is my situation so hopeless?
Am I suffering for what you people did?
Fate is dealing me a hard one
Life has thrown me down
I can't get up because of the pain
I'm battling fear and pain one-on-one,
It started before I was born!
I embraced life at birth crying,
Fear gripped my head, at faces staring.
The pain of being born!
I do not understand,
Mother, why am I so helpless?
Father, why is my situation so hopeless?
Am I suffering for what you people did?
They are angry with me: everyone.
Have I lost my mind?
Have I not made my body members dead?
They scorn and frown at me: everyone
Because I am not religious, but spiritual,
Because I don't belong to any parish,
They call me a bat; that I'm foolish!
Following my conviction has made me a fool.
I do not understand,
Mother, why am I so helpless?
Father, why is my situation so hopeless?
Am I suffering for what you people did?
Now that am grown, I still fear,
I fear for my family's safety,
I wish I could grant them immortality,
I have but heightened pain and fear!
I fear that I wouldn't meet up to expectations,
It pains me that I can't please everybody,
My helplessness manifests with each passing day.
I look older among my age mates!
I do not understand,
Mother, why am I so helpless?
Father, why is my situation so hopeless?
Am I suffering for what you people did?
Am so scared of the future
I am lost and incomplete
In this mad race, I can't compete,
I can't find myself in the picture!
Everybody wants to change me,
They want me to be less myself: it's madness!
But I can't pretend! It's pure foolishness!
I can't lie to myself! I'm being me.

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Chime Justice Ndubuisi

Chime Justice Ndubuisi

Onitsha, Anambra State
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