I Just Dont Know Poem by robert ortiz

I want to die
Just go away from it all run from a life
A life without so much hurt
Everyday and everynight I cry
I try to figure out when I went wrong
Everything seems to be my fault
I feel with no feelings
Only out of instinct do I react to events around me
Alone and scared without a feeling
In a heart of numbness
I choke back tears
That falls without fear
I say to myself
That life will get better
But I just don’t know
I’m always alone
Company seems to be a lie
I hide from myself
By others I seem to be ignored
People I called friends
I now call strangers
What does a person do?
When it seems the world has forgotten them
I don’t sleep anymore
Dreams have become nightmares
For the first time in my life
I’m scared
Alone and scared without feelings
In a heart of numbness
I choke back tears
That falls without fear
I say to myself
That life will get better
But I just don’t know
Hope is a word with out meaning
I try to remember when I was happy
It seems to be a lost memory
Loneliness is my constant companion
I wonder if love will ever return
But like the world it seems lost
My body screams for the touch of another
I bite my lip just to taste the reality
It stops the pain in my heart for awhile
When I see others in love it makes me cry
Why does the word love bring so much pain?
It leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth
Alone and scared without a feeling
In a heart of numbness
I choke back tears
That falls without fear
I say to myself
That life will get better
But I just don’t know