I Lived Not Poem by Mehta Hasmukh Amathaal

I lived not up to expectations
Thus raised distrust and many questions,
Had promised to keep words,
In the name of God and also Lords,

Promise is simple but after all promise,
To be observed till approach of demise,
Never to forget any and not to compromise,
Not to break any just to sprang surprise,

I gave call, not to break and depart,
Never to leave amidst and stay apart,
Not to cheat soul even in trouble,
Pressure may mount but not to crumble

I thought my self teen,
Sweet age of only sixteen,
Never drew line in between,
Always thought of loss and win,

As we drew closer and closer,
Game of not winner but a looser,
Option left less how to be chooser,
Thought for while to remain lover,

Finding no way in sight I preferred to be cool,
Chances were more to look like fool,
Stars seemed far distanced bright moon,
Hopes vapor fast result looked soon,

I promised to bring star from sky,
Love first at sight could not ask why?
Thrilled with joy but felt very shy,
It was first chance to ask love as” My”

I never thought it may explode in mines,
She too failed to read between lines,
I am not sure of result, penalty or fine
It was intoxication fresh from wine,

I still stand firm and make promise sure,
I may not gain but words more assure,
I have fallen ground but not as coward,
May it grim battle without any reward,

I stand to loose and also go down,
But I also feel precious loss of crown,
I played game but player knot known,
Result may be loss but you may disown