I'm fat, I'm fat
We can't have that.
I want to be thin
Cuz thin is in.
If thin is in,
Then why do I stick out?
Cuz I eat too much
I have no doubt.
Because I am a glutton
I cannot button
Or my skirt.
Could eat no fat
And his wife could eat no lean
What exactly does this mean?
Jack Sprat was thin
Cuz thin was in
And his wife was fat
Cuz fat was where it's at.
Snickers bars and Almond Joys
Potato chips and Chips Ahoys
Caramel popcorn and natural fructose
On comes the pounds and the cellulose.
I am now comatose
Because of an overdose
I just got home from the restaurant
Where I ate almost anything I want.
I'm now so full I'm going to be sick.
To eat like that I must be a lunatic.
How I feel I can't describe
I'll call my doctor and ask him to
Something good for indigestion
And then I'll ask him just one more
'How can I lose all this weight I've
I know by now I must weigh a ton.'
He'll probably give me his two cents
And proceed to ask me 'How on Earth
Can anyone eat the way you do?
To eat that much is quite taboo.
There should be a law against the way
You probably go on a diet just so you
To heck with doctors- what do they know?
I'm sure right now I'm on a plateau.
Tomorrow is another day.
I wonder just how much I'll weigh.
I'm fat, I'm fat,
So what- who cares?
So what if my buttocks
Have to sit in two chairs!
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Poet's Notes about The Poem
Comments about this poem (I'm Fat! by Susan Sparks )
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