I Made Love To The Dinner Rolls Poem by Leon Agnew

Dear Sir:

Thank you for another lovely evening.
My wife and I always enjoy your company,
And I find it charming
To watch our children play together.
Despite all this,
I wish to make a confession.

Whilst you were away,
Like mice, I went to play,
And found your cook
And took a book
And knocked him unconscious.

I then went to work,
And took out the wine's cork,
Unsheathed my sin
And peed straight in
Then served you it in glasses.

I took out my list,
And all the hors'doeuvers kissed
I poked a lot of holes
And made love to your dinner rolls
Heehee! I'm such a funny guy!
I even porked the rye!
And then I saw the ham
Let out a great 'GAWD DAMM! '
I pulled straight down my pants,
Assumed a crouching stance,
(I know this is the very best
But you can figure out the rest)
I'll leave it up to you
To find out what's in your berries blue.
And I also did contribute
To filling up your boots with soot.

I'm not proud of what I did, good sir,
And don't ask your wife what I did to her,
But let me tell you, for just one bit,
To be honest, she definitely liked it.
Please forgive me, I'm really nice
Maybe a 'sorry' would suffice?