I 'Recently' Changed My Mind Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Could I live with myself,
Sleeping with a seeking...
To revenge an act done to me,
Deeply sinking in as if intended?
And I promised myself,
To let such foolishness go.
Could I?

Would I hold onto thoughts,
Without a wish to abort them?
To continue to be reminded,
Who initiated the impregnating...
As if I laid in waiting to satiate it?
Would I be that consciously stupid,
To not use some kind of protection?

Forgetting what was done,
Forever!
Knowing inside of me,
This feeling would grow to sit.
Making periodic visits.

And could I go through belaboring a birth,
Surging to emerge and pretend it goes unnoticed?
Knowing in my mind it isn't worth it to suppress.
Or...
Would I be proud to deliver a healthy punch,
With my right as I might...
To address it as expressed?

'Owww!
What did you do that for? '

You don't think I am going to carry around,
What you did to me...
For months.
And not harbor 'any' remnants of ill feeling?
Do you?
DO YOU?

'But...
You 'said' you forgave me.'

I thought I did too!
Well...
I 'recently' changed my mind.
Ahhh...
NOW I feel okay about leaving it all behind.