I Wanted Poem by Serena Blackinton

I don't suppose you know how crazy you used to make me;
How insanely jealous I became of anything that took attention away,
How wonderful I felt when I was all you wanted to do,
And how I wanted to slap your face and kiss you at the same time too.

I'd sit and wonder if we could call what we had love...
You fit me perfectly, but you weren't of heaven above.
Neither did you seem to come from the fires of hell,
But mirror me absolutely? You did that all too well.

Sometimes I wondered if my thoughts were all my own,
And were your behaviours even things I could condone?
Then there were times when I thought the tears would never stop;
That this bubble of happiness had long since been popped.

Out of nowhere, you'd show up into my life unannounced,
And hug me so close it was though my ills had all been trounced,
You'd look so deeply into my eyes that I was lost in your charms,
And I had no resistance to counteract the power of your arms.

What we had wasn't healthy and I want you know,
I tried so hard to do whatever I could to make you go,
I wanted you to have a life and a love that was good and true
And I wanted you to have everything I could never give you.

On this Valentine's Day, know that you're on my mind,
Know I love you with as much reality as I can find,
Know that I'm grateful for the time you gave to me,
And the love that I can give forever now because of thee.