I Was Happy Once But Didn't Know It Poem by Wilfred Mellers

I was happy once but didn't know it
Like sands flowing through my hands, I blew it
Stupid and selfish I was being
Couldn't communicate what I was feeling

Lost it all one day online
From time to time, I still wish she were still mine
Someone now I can never find
She was once so loving, tender, and kind

My young ones went to another state
Years now went maybe eight
My youngest girl it's me now she hates
It wasn't me that opened the floodgates

I told I tried to do everything that I could
I thought it all she understood
To give it all back that I would
Now all gone downstream like driftwood

To her, I tried to still communicate
Seems too much, too little, and too late
She is now fourteen and still growing
I never expected her to be all knowing

I chased her mother away for I was not being attentive
Too little too late for I was so passive-aggressive
I love her so and never showed her
All I was showing was just my anger

I should have given her what she wanted
Hurtful words used I wish I could've recanted
I never realized I was hurting her so
I had no choice but to let her go

I loved her so and still do now
I will have to make my life work now somehow
I was lost and thought I was found
Now love's buried far underground

To hold and love I have no one there
She says about me she still does care
Looked for love and couldn't find it anywhere
To try again, do I dare?