(i-Xiii) Chapter Ix It's Hard For Me Poem by Egi D. Perdana

(I)


I throw my heart into a trash bin

but every women look it up and open their hands to take it

then I dip my feeling into a tube that water is not pure and smells

and again some feelings follow it quietly

I just want you, you, you, not them, and it's hard for me.


(II)


I'll melt you down, I'll make you hurt

I wanna wake the feeling within

I'm not fooling around, I'll pay for the world, to slow you down

I'll destroy every pieces of frames that beautifies you

And I want to hear, in every tears, you say 'it's hard for me'


(III)


Isn't that you think I am a man that takes advantage out from the truth?

like potassium cyanide that squeezes your heart and the pit of your stomach

and an explossion of an atom making me sure of it

sorry, your excuses is not healing

because those excuses are a silence for me, and for that, it's hard for me.


(IV)


They don't talk about the necessities of life for us

they don't care if we drink poison from our sweat ever

they always think that we are just coarse grass to burn

they are like swords to cut off our heads

and everything about them, i don't care anymore, because it remains the same, it's hard for me.


(V)


I want to defeat the naivetes of you, to boil your pessimism

because you are like a flickering light bulbs, weakened and explodes

what can I do about it? desperation seems to fill your pivot

you aren't like you used to be

because time after time, for us, it's hard for me.



(Chapter IX End)