If Only Humans Were Born With Tails Poem by Francis Duggan

If only humans were born with tails we then would not be hard to know
Out of the stump sticking out of our rear end the type of person we are one would show
If we slowly walked up to others with our tail wagging rather slow
In human language that would be seen as a very cautious hello.

The one with their tail between their legs would be seen as nervous and shy
Look towards the ground whilst passing others and not look them straight in the eye
Not born to be the life of the party and private in their own quiet way
But it takes all kinds for to make the Nation at least that's what some people do say.

And those with their tails wagging fiercely and who vigourously shake you by the hand
These people a bit over-friendly a surprise for you they may have planned
Like trying to rip you off in some deal with their false charm they hide their deceit
You know what they say about sugar it can cause decay in your teeth.

And those who walk with their tails held upwards and without looking pass you on the street
They have over-inflated egos enamoured in their own conceit
And those who pass you by their tails not wagging with a steely look in their stare
They have an aggressive streak in them and of them you ought to beware

If human beings were born with tails our body language would be easy to read
And psychologists would be unemployed then as society them would not need
But Nature did not make us that way so a tail we never could grow
Though with one we'd be more interesting and maybe much easier to know.