If Only The Choice Was Mine Poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

If Only The Choice Was Mine



Hear my voice.
I have no choice.
The shelter is gone.
Oh how it blurs, twists, and torments.
The burning sun of another forgotten dawn.

Hear my voice.
I have no choice.
This time the fog won't lift.
This time the angel won't forgive.

You died way too young.
I imagined it so differnt.
Give me another bottle.
Give me another pill to swallow.
Mourning in my own way.
I can still hear the last words as if to say...

I'm not angry, I'm just in pain.
Missing you every single day.
They say with time it will fade.
But what if I told you it's not what I want.
Memories stuck on a hamaster wheel.
Running in a sickening repitition.

Hear my voice.
I have no choice.
Losing the battle from within.
Facing a dragon without my fury and fire.
The candle light is diming this dire hour.

Hear my voice.
I have no choice.
From the cradle to the grave.
Always too late.
Putting on the thorn crown once again.
Wearing it proudly because I own my mistakes.

I'm facing a demon with smoke and mirrors.
And the image couldn't be any clearer.
A reflection of who I was but not what I become.
The shadow of a childhood friend.
Still it is sinking in.
Choking on the tears and fears.
What does this mean for me?
How do I ever fill this void that has taken hold.

Hear my voice.
I have no choice.

Hear my voice.
I never had a choice.
An actor from behind the scenes is pulling all the strings.
Some people call her destiny.
I find it hard to believe in such a thing.
You my dear, and beloved friend are at the gates of the beyond.
Now I must find a way to move on.

Thursday, November 9, 2017
Topic(s) of this poem: death,loss,mourning,remorse
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
Dedicated to the very recent death of a dear friend. You will always be in my thoughts.
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