If You Die Tonight Poem by Loreta Muskardin

I won’t cry and won’t be gloomy
I’ll remember all the blissful days
That one when you called me a
Pet name and held me in your arms
The one when you took me to a lunar-park
And we rode the fastest bump-car
I’ll remember the day you taught me
How to swim and pushed me from the pier
Into the azure water-heaven which I never
Stopped loving from that day on..
I’ll remember nights under the stars, the
Stone terrace in our old house, the bleeding
Hearts in rusty, metal hanging baskets, so
Beautiful in their imperfection..
I’ll remember the fig tree in our garden, and
Heavy black fruit we savoured and devoured
And I will tell future generations your stories
When you were a small boy, and what a
Story-teller you were and how beautifully you
Sang, you should have been a singer
If you die tonight I’ll stride to the beach and
Step out of my shoes and dip my toes into the
Ocean, which runs around the globe and somewhere
On the other end it will touch your toes, too
We’ll connect in a way no one ever connected
Before and those who did don’t stand around to
Tell such a tale.
If you die tonight, I will keep writing about you
Until the paper begs me to lift a heavy pen because
Almost all that was precious to remember was
Immortalized and your life is secured in this earthy
One and wherever you go, you’ll know that you
Are not really gone, not really, because there are
Words on the paper that many will read and you
Will be here with us and I will be again your little
Girl and laugh and squeeze my arms around you.
Don’t go tonight, dad.