' In The Kingdom Of Glutendom' Poem by Linda Winchell

Long ago in the kingdom of Glutendom
lived a wise King who sat on a golden throne.
He had a bit of bad luck, when his Kingly butt did get stuck
From eatting nothing but chocolate Ice cream and scones!

He called for his baker and the royal candle stick maker.
'Have you got any goose fat or lard? '
They both looked at one another, than took off for cover
for they knew removing the King from his throne would be hard.

The King called for his prize royal bacon
then began to rub it, on his arms and his sides.
He called for his scribes to rub this grease on his thighs
then soon popped out, with his Kingly blubber shakin.

'While I'm the wisest of King throughout the world
how could I have let myself get this way? '
To eat like I do, ice cream and all those scones too
I decree that no one will go on eatting this way!

As the king tried to sit down and placeback his crown
he'd forgotten the bacon grease on his chair.
He began to slip and slide, from side to side.
Like a large bowl of jiggly jell-o and squid.

For the King was all blubber and jiggly
and his throne did keep that fat in tact.
But when he got up, from his throne he was stuck
all could then see he was nothing but FAT!