Instead. Poem by Emily Reid

When I was sad and depressed
I needed you to cheer me up
Instead I drank until I was numb enough not to feel anything

When everyone was attacking me and putting me down
I needed you to be the one to defend me and be on my side
Instead I consumed all the cruel words and criticism the world threw at me

When I was scared and frightened
I needed you to be my security blanket
Instead I had to live in fear

When I felt so lonely and needed someone to care
I needed you to hold me tight and never let me go
Instead I grew up alone with no one to turn to

When I would cry myself to sleep at night
I needed you to wipe the tears away
Instead I held my pillow tight while never ending tears streamed down my face

When my world was crashing down on me
I needed you to be the one I ran to
Instead I locked myself in my room in complete despair

When I felt unloved
I needed you to tell me how much you loved me
Instead I learned the words 'I love you' are meaningless