Internet Addiction Poem by Jim Yerman

This morning when I woke up…let me take a second to reminisce
I had an uneasy feeling as if something was amiss.

I walked around the cabin trying not to make a peep
Since it was still so early and Deborah was asleep.

But the electricity was working and the clock showed the correct time
So I sat down at my computer to post my daily rhyme.

I found the folder and opened the best poem I’ve written yet
But then I realized to my disbelief we had no internet.

I unplugged, I rebooted, I reset, I touched every key
And when all else failed at 6 A.M. I called A T & T.

I spoke to a man in India(?) who said the cause of our mayhem
Was a power outage in the area that would be fixed by 5 P. M.

5 P.M. Oh My God! There was nothing more to say.
That meant our cherished internet would be out the entire day.

5 P.M. this left me surprised, saddened, and confused
What am I going to tell Deborah? How will she take the news?

But Deborah took it like a pro, she’s a trooper through and through
So we sat down together and decided what to do.

“It’s really not so bad”, I said, “Sure it’s a huge blow.
But look, it’s already 8 o’clock…only 9 more hours to go”.

“But where will we get our news and entertainment Deborah exclaimed
And I have no idea who won last night World Series game.

Before we started to panic…an idea came to me
“Deborah! ” I said picking up the remote control….” we still have our TV.”

But after watching endless videos of Miley Cyrus twerking
We switched over to Netflix to see if it was working.

It wasn’t! And I will omit our unprintable interjections
When we realized that Netfilx needs an internet connection.

So we turned it off to play a game then Deborah tried to sew
And when we were through we realized…8 more hours still to go.

“Deborah”, I said, “For 6 hours our internet’s been restricted.
Do you think, perhaps, by our reaction, that we could be addicted? ”

“Don’t be silly, ” Deborah said, “As we ate lunch at some Wi-Fi restaurant
“My IPAD says you’re not addicted if you can quit any time you want.”

After lunch we returned home still a little stunned.
We sat around watching uncomfortably waiting for 5: 01.

“The Internet’s back, ” I stuttered, as it was hard for me to speak
But Deborah was already using her IPAD as a tear fell down her cheek.

So as you can see we don’t have a problem…we have nothing to admit.
It’s not that we’re addicted, it’s just that…we don’t want to quit.