Is Desire A Phoenix? ! Poem by nadia abduljabbar

Is Desire a Phoenix like;
A being so strong,
Yet so fragile,
I wonder? !
Then, what makes it die,
And what brings it back
To life;
To survive
In a rather overwhelming way?
Hope they say,
And I should be able,
By now, to know
That hope is a great factor
That can make desire revive,
Hope… in sharing
Our emotionality,
Physicality,
Intellectuality,
Beside SPIRITUALITY,
Can undoubtedly bring
It back to smile,
Hope in being
Loved the way
We are, can also
Bring it back
From the land of the dead;
Hope to desire
Is like fire to a Phoenix.

To me, desire seems,
A sensitive being
Who could fast flee,
And rapidly dies
Once hurt,
Lied to,
Ignored,
Or even postponed.

We have in us
Both the animal drive,
And the Angelic side,
No shame about this;
We crave to eat,
To have physical intimacy,
But it must be combined,
To be really nurturing;
Truly nourishing,
At least for me,
With Spirituality,
And Intellectuality
To calm not just a spot,
But heart and head,
As well.

Or is desire a continuous test,
That God puts inside us,
To see if we
Can elevate it,
And be elevated by it,
Or makes of it only
An animal thing,
A push to revenge
That brings us down.

I feel I am in danger
Once a man reaches my mind,
Especially if he does not believe
In God’s Oneness,
Or Mohammad as the last
Messenger whose MORALS
Are for human goodness,
I fear it because:
It becomes like
A frisky, fierce
And risky lioness,
Though it becomes
As such
Under the influence
Of a tender touch,
It could never be
Wholly animal like;
It becomes crippled
Once it senses
Ignorance about,
Or sarcasm against
What is Devine.

Yet wonder I,
How can people,
Have desire when
One of these factors
Is lacking or missing,
How can men and women
Desire each other,
Without the amalgamation
Of Soul, Mind, body and heart,
How can they have intimacy
Without the glorious assent;
Not necessarily on paper,
Of what’s sacred,
How? ! I wish I could
Know and understand.

I think I am a normal being
A full and healthy woman
Yet such actions are beyond
My mental capability,
Am I not a passionate female,
A genuine poetess?
Then why does my desire
disappears and becomes elusive,
Like a phantom or a mirage,
When shy from God,
Why the need for His consent
Is always a must to have it
Fulfilled, why loving
Him honestly thwarts loving
a man whom I would
Rather melt in his arms? !

And wonder I
Again and again,
About my desire:
Is it a Phoenix,
What puts it to fire
What can inflame it,
And what puts it
Back to ashes.

28 October,2005