Is This My Final Goodbye? Poem by myangelx3 forlife

For some reason it feels as if my world is crashing at just a minimal length ahead of me.
There isn't anything I can do because it is too far to reach and control, yet at the perfect spot to watch become nothing.
At night the pain comes from deep within,
The tears come out from my soul and the emotions begin to take over.
Each tear I cry is another ounce of pain that I try removing from my being - yet somehow there is just the addition of more and more pain the next day no matter how amazing or dreadful the day had been.
There isn't much that I know when it comes to this thing we all know to be as life,
Though one thing I do know about it pain, tourchur, misery, true discomfort.

I wish that no one feels the pain I do,
The pain of all the lose that I have been threw,
The pain of people rubbing up against me that is beyond unwanted - though I have no choice.
I never had a choice.
I never had a choice with who I was with, what I was doing, what I was wearing, nothing at all.
Maybe thats why I always have to be in control now?
Because I know that nothing can hurt me as much as it had in my past.. do you see that as a way of giving up and not caring anymore?
Just giving myself in because I don't care what happens to me anymore?
I don't know... well soon find out what I am worth because if not -this shall be my final goodbye.