It Isn'T Her Poem by Hazel Mc Taggart

I saw her,
From where I'm sitting in the helicopter.
Nearing the ground,
I leap far and run to her.
Throwing my arms up,
To receive a welcoming hug.
I'm pushed back with her hostility,
I fall to the ground.
Dazed and shocked,
I gaze at her eyes.
They are empty.
I shake my head,
With utter confusion.
Starting to run away with all my energy,
Finally I collapse.
My heart feels so cold,
Choking on the tears.
Crying out that I'm sorry,
I'm sorry I never came back to see you.
No-one can hear me,
These words keep passing through my strained lips.
Feeling so alone,
I’m the outsider of my own family.
I had the chance to see my mother,
Who is not my mother but a different person.
A person who is cold and hostile,
My mother is a person of warmth and welcome.
Can you hear me mum,
Come back to me.
I need the warmth of your arms,
I need my friend.
I don’t want to see you in pain,
I want to see you happy.
Am I the one to blame?
The one at fault?
In my faded dreams,
You are always helpless.
I’m trying to reach you,
I want to help you.
I am unable to,
The invisible barrier holds me back.
Struggling to get there,
Feeling your pain so strong.
Mum,
Please tell me your ok.
When you visit me in my dream,
Be happy.