It's Been Six Months Poem by Kathleen J. Shields

It’s been 6 months since the funeral
Seems like only a week
2.5 years since our last fight
Why again couldn’t we speak?

Was it pride or hurt or arrogance
That kept us both away
I've done the whys and what ifs
There was nothing I could say.

Maybe it had to end like this
I never saw it coming
My sweet mother murdered
It still within is numbing

For years it was just the 2 of us
2 against the earth
And I grew up and moved on
Did she ever know her worth?

I wanted us to work it out
I didn't want to fight
We were supposed to talk again
To wake up and see the light.

I never thought the next time
we'd meet she'd be in a casket
I never thought our conversation
Would be so one sided

I never got to see her smile
or hear her laugh once more
To say hello and get a hug
When I'd walk in the door.

And as the trial takes its time
and details go unsaid
I sit here in the dark
and think about the dead

I wonder if she’s with me
or if she said goodbye?
Did her spirit visit me
as towards heaven she did fly?

Or have I been alone in this
to wonder stress and doubt?
Will I ever feel inside
this feeling I’m without?

I'm so ashamed I could not forgive
My feelings hurt too bad
And I will forever hate myself
each time that I am sad

For 6 months have passed a half a year
for me it’s been three years
And no amount of time will pass
that can ever dry those tears.

- Kathleen J. Shields


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