It Was Not I Poem by Swarnali Das

It Was Not I



I was nine
When you deflowered me.
You touched me
Against my wishes.


I screamed aloud,
But the words
Chocked in my throat
And no voice came out.


I cried silent tears,
In the silence of the night;
Unable to tell anyone
Of what I went through.


I felt violated,
Ashamed of my body,
Unable to look at myself
In the mirror.


But today, years later,
I refuse to let you
Crush my soul
And dampen my spirit.

It is I who decides
Not to tell the world
What you did to me
Behind those walls.

I refuse to let you
Make me guilty
For that I haven't done
What never was my fault.

For I refuse to be
Called a victim and
You as my abuser.
I shall rise and not
Let you win over me.

POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
The story of a little girl who was a survivor and who refused to call herself a victim of child sexual abuse.
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