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Just Friends? -A Haiku

Tree hangs his head down
Wind tossles branches and laughs
Tree creaks from cruelty

Submitted: Tuesday, February 26, 2013


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Blast! Haikus are hard.

Comments about this poem (Dervishes and Mastery by Aria Siren )

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  • Sandy Player (2/28/2013 11:37:00 AM)

    Haikus are even harder to comment on than to write but ah well.
    I like to imagine this tree standing over the fence from the gauze dress on the line because of the title though it would need to be skewed in its interpretation to be seen as a sequel to 'Just Friends' so I shall resist the urge and qdmire it as a stand alone.
    I suppose its a good picture when we consider that we say the wind howls; , whispers, dances etc. so you have an already personified element in the image. And then the tree; known by poets for being resilient, (one could say) longsuffering and also quite quiet and thoughtful (thoughtful trees? Ive lost it) because of its sentinel position.

    So that makes sense when the tree creaks only a little groan; not cracks, although they are close in spelling and nature. Neat little Haiku though its a suggestion that it could change lines more mid-sentence to emphasise the motion of the wind and hence strentghen the colour of the picture.

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