Marilyn Shepperson

Rookie (4th September 1949 / Hounslow. Middx)

Killing Fields


The fighting is over, the battle is won
Overhead the crows are gathering
The dead lay like a grisly carpet
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  • Rookie - 864 Points Liliana ~el (10/9/2013 7:20:00 PM)

    Strong message; speaks truth; really engages reader and evokes them to visualize the situation word by word; sticking (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Fiona Sandbrook (10/9/2013 4:49:00 PM)

    Watch grammar and punctuation, but apart from that it's a very vivid and compelling read. I particularly like the last line. Thanks for sharing! (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,588 Points Patricia Grantham (10/9/2013 9:09:00 AM)

    An excellent and potent write. In war there are really no winners.
    Even the crows and eventually the buzzards are the ultimate
    victors. There can never be any joy and if there is it is short
    lived. make peace and not war. very inspiring. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Deci Hernandez (10/9/2012 12:00:00 PM)

    What a great way to get us to see the way of wars. that crows are the winner. however. it is sad that wars are necessary.: (. even animals and all the earth hates war. but we must. because of the enemy. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Scarlett Treat (9/29/2006 6:21:00 AM)

    Your depth of wisdom here is amazing, in that you have painted such a clear picture of who the real winners are in a battle, the crows. The contrast of the pain of those left dying and the victory celebration is just great. A MAJOR 10 from me! (Report) Reply

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