Last Words Poem by Preetam Shetty

u have potential

I agree with Nerisha...you indeed have potential. As I keep telling everybody you ought to revise this poem and decide what style you are going to write in. As it is it is too journalistic. The subject is very interesting and I like the fact you left the reader wondering until the last line referring to your mother. The content is there. The form needs now to be strengthened and given a shape and a strong voice. Do find novel metaphores for the meaning you are trying to convey. It is not easy I know but they will help you to make it 'sharp' and poignant. But well done. Enea

The poem is beautiful, full of pathos and tender feelings. Keep writing... Thanks for sharing.

I am going my son Life I shall no more run I am too tired now My days here are done Very sad. Why do you think so poet! Who knows from which point life begins again and the specifically where does it end! Who knows poet? Any way, no one should be a martyr only for his son or daughter. So many suffered sons and daughters are crying altogether throughout the globe each and every moment. You please feel for them once. You will get the meaning of life to live again. We are just beside your pain. Write more, LIVE LONG. Regards Apoet Bangla

It's a really sensitive and emotionally poem you express with your inner feelings ..........as a poet but please never give hope on your son............be a angel and guide him through afterward they are children we love so dearest..................it brings tears in my eyes......very emotionally..........thanks for sharing....... excellent 10+++++++++++++

What a true emotion u put..is it a real experience...i can feel it deeply

This poem echoes the sentiments of all fathers in the world. Reading it brought back sad memories of how my own father breathed his last.

Nice poem! Yes, it is true when we become old and weak, it is hard to have lives of our own and we want our children to reciprocate with the same love we showered on them when they were young!

There is no harm if a mother gives due liberty to her son, but it should not go beyond the dangerous level. The poem speaks well on this point.