ONElia AVElar

Rookie - 12 Points (Bulgaria)

LAUGH-MAKING


under the shadow
on the green sunny meadow
by the rounded mossy stone
both ate ripe watermelon

he made her laugh
her bubbling laughter
made him love her
then they made love

under the blanket
he makes her laugh
she loves his manner
to make her laugh...

The golden gate
to love, my love,
is maybe...laughter
Make me laugh...

Submitted: Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Edited: Tuesday, April 15, 2008

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Comments about this poem (LAUGH-MAKING by ONElia AVElar )

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  • Rookie R H (5/22/2008 2:13:00 PM)

    Love and laughter - a wonderful combination blended together against the backdropp of a lush landscape - ripe words here Onelia. j x (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Roger Cornish (4/24/2008 2:53:00 PM)

    Wonderful....made me smile and moved me...
    all that movement excitement and laughter.....
    Just smashing writing!
    rx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 154 Points Dr.subhendu Kar (4/16/2008 3:55:00 PM)

    lough yet obsessive by the shadow
    laugter still extends beyond and within
    as meadow still burns by the green
    the golden gate seems to open by the muse...............excellent write by the imagery of unique genere, and i lough still,10/10, thanks for sharing (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 36 Points Donall Dempsey (4/15/2008 7:04:00 PM)

    This made me smile! Totally agree with you...goes for me too! Ain't it de truth! Beautiful in its observation and the tiny details that make it so real. Love it! See...I'm laughing.. laughing!

    love Donall Donall (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - -1 Points Ivan Donn Carswell (4/15/2008 2:54:00 AM)

    Yes, this is it! There is an economy of words with staccato rhythms, and they all punctuate - laughter! Laugh-making takes on a new meaning. Beautiful, rgds Ivan (Report) Reply

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