Laughter Poem by Claudia Krizay

So many believe that as long as we are laughing
We shall feel no pain. When we are hurting
We count our blessings every day and we make light of our mistakes,
It has been said that if we feel that we are drowning,
A burst of laughter shall keep us buoyant or
We can always just laugh our tears away.

Sitting alone in some faraway place, all that I can do is wonder
Don’t people believe that in the moment when
Pain can be a knife twisting inside of our hearts-
Laughter shall only make the agony that tortures us more unbearable?

I tell the god everyone believes shall save us,
I have fallen into a pit so deep I foresee no exit.
I have been told; “just laugh and your laughter
Shall guide you upward and you shall find your dreams.”

I awaken in the darkness every morning, even though the sun is rising,
I cannot foresee light on the horizon-
As a child I was estranged from this world and
Others would laugh at me in such a cruel and conniving way
That sent me running looking for comfort and salvation that I could not find?

Yesterday I laughed trying to erase the pain I was feeling as I walked down a dark alley
Searching to find relief from the sorrow and the rage that has imprisoned me-
I have seen laughter as taunting and cruel at times although even when
A dark curtain falls between my eyes and the real world outside
I remember to attempt to count my blessings everyday, although
I still feel like running and hiding from all that harms me-

Standing atop of a mountain looking downward after I had wept unashamedly,
I have been cleansed by my own tears and now I can laugh when the time is right-
As I look upward toward the sky the rain begins to fall,
Making flowers blossom and the leaves on the trees to flourish- I realize that
Through this joy of nature’s laughter-perhaps I can find my dream