Left Alone Here To Fight My Disasters Poem by Lauren Humphrey

Left alone here to fight my disasters.
While the others screened their eyes
And sheltered their ears.
I’m pacing back and forth now,
Trying to quit the addiction,
Trying to mellow my desire.
I’m cold with fear,
Cold with need.
I had everything just right
But slowly it all slipped away.
I beg for a presence
I hide though, afraid of letting it all go.
Pretend or the truth?
They both seem like hell.
Where is my heaven?
The one I see in my dreams.
The one everyone tells me all about.
I thought God was supposed to care.
But it doesn’t seem like he does because all’s not fair.
The tears sting my cheek as useless screams.
My eyes reach for help,
They call in need.
My heart beats with pain,
It wants to escape this hell of a life.
Tell me why I turned out this way.
Why did this have to happen to me.
I just want one smile to not be fake.
One laugh to not be forced.
What did I do wrong?
Does God play iny-miny-mo?
Does he laugh at our expenses?
How can we punish the sinners?
And tell them cuz God said so.
When supposedly God made us all a particular way.
Stop ignoring,
And start listening.
We’re just to scared though,
So I guess the pain will never truly end.