Life Is Hell, The Sooner Its Finished The Better Poem by archie hardie

My how I wish I wasn`t growing old,
cos me bones all ache and I surely feels the cold.
wheres me goddam glasses? there on top of your stupid head,
an` your bloody woollen nighty! is underneath the bed.

Oh how I wish I wasn`t ageing fast,
cos I don`t think my kidneys are gonna last the pace.
I got a huge sarston stone thats blocked the peein` tract
an` me ankles are up like barrage balloons, an thats a goddam fact.

I`d better see the man, about gettin` myself a lair,
cos I`ll need a place to rest my head, when I stops breathin` air.
Now I aint gonna look too far or cast me net real wide,
an` you can bet your bottom dollar, it`ll be miles from Idlewild.

Yup it`ll soon be time for me to go,
then it`ll be farewell to one and all,
I`ll hang me brolly on the hook, by the door, out in the hall,
then I`ll pop me clogs, kick the bucket, an` last but not the least,
give any spare cash to me darlin` wife, don`t bother with a wreath.

archie hardie.27/10/2007