Life's Sadness Poem by RoseAnn V. Shawiak

Filled with life's sadness, not comprehending any worth in
living, this day is darkened by the frown upon a furrowed
brow.

Dusk, bright orange and red, throwing itself across the
sky, drenching my mind with thoughts of my Grandmother.

Why now, after all these years? Sorrow has not diminished,
loving her just as much now as I did in 1972.

Reminding self of our beautiful relationship, pondering
what death will be like with her.

Life without her has been never-ending sorrow year after
year, what can be lost if I leave this world now as it is?

There is nothing to lose, except the pain and hurt of this
deep abiding, residing loneliness.

Frustrated with these thoughts and ideas, wanting to end it
all right here.

There is nothing to clasp or hold onto, no one waiting in
this world, yet, my Grandmother awaits me beyond these
earthly clouds, holding out her hand in anticipation of the
joy we will once again share.

Filled with pleasure at these thoughts, turning away from
life, searching for a small space to place life in death's
hasty embrace.

(5: 59 p.m. - 1/5/96)