Like A Distant God Poem by r james sterzinger

I paint you black
I paint over you with
a smear of the brush

one cover
another coat
when I see you now
I will not look up
when I see you
or a shadow of you
I will remove my glasses
so you and the distance
will never again exist
mean anything to me

you are the crosses
of battlefields
anything that meant anything
will be carried by the dead
but not by me

I can't bear the thought
of you
the itch of you
the wanting of your company

how I will remember you is
how I will remember church candles
bright light beauty
then ash

I will carry my own light now
fall in love with second best
someone who will love me
that I won't have to love back
like a distant God