Love Is Beauty Poem by Naveed Akram

Love Is Beauty



I have to connect your sweetness to love and beauty,
Only my eyes swivel and see the love in front of me.
If never crying, you will be dying, shedding a tear
For the creator at the end of this short stay on this world.
My eyes see the creative being in front of me, innocence
Speaks when the telling of sadness looms, but happiness
Looms so I am in awe of the love touched by myself.

Woman is the light from the distant galaxies, the task has
Not to end, it has begun, whatever the task is.
These women are like artists of supreme highness,
Their task is to paint a discussion and seek more light.
They will work in the end, for they will never be betrayed,
In the tunnels, happiness looms and learns, travelling to you,
Vows taken are vows mastering being, and shifting the sky.

Saturday, June 10, 2017
Topic(s) of this poem: beauty,love
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Jefferson Carter 10 June 2017

Naveed, this is pretty good. The poem might be better if you told less (used fewer abstractions like happiness, and sadness) and showed more (used vivid images) . Also, the line breaks don't enhance the poem's expressiveness. Maybe immerse yourself in lots of good contemporary poetry in English (Mary Oliver?) If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Thanks! Yrs, JC

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Naveed Akram

Naveed Akram

London, England
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