.love Is Dependent Poem by K.D Cox

I thought my life was over
when the bathwater corresponded with the air in such a way.
I felt weightless.
Face down in the water,
Mouth open, letting the warm liquid fill me.
Every disgusting inch of me.
Tasting the warm cream-like substance,
Letting it consume my lungs.
I do not choke, or fight.
I simply let my suffering come to peace.
I accepted it.
The sting in my pupils
And burn in my throat
No longer bothered me.
I was free, his love concerend me not.
I was for once happy beyond words.
depending on no one but my own soul.
No lust for flesh.
Unfortunately, this feeling did not last.
I woke up.
And because of the pain of choking water,
I begged for death.
That hope and glimpse of freedom was simply...false.
Even though I knew he was miles away,
I whispered his name,
Hoping he would hear me.
That he could find me, save me.
I pictured his face,
And at that moment the creamy liquid
Filled me again.
But this time it was different.
This time it tasted of sodium and metal.