Love Pretense Poem by Richard Johnson

What are we doing here...?
How did it get this far...?
What reason had we to fool ourselves?
To live true lies the way we are.

It started with love that I did give
Lies and betrayal I did receive
You promised your heart, that I would have
Foolish man that I was I did believe

Then I found that your love you gave to another
All the world but myself knew me just as your friend
He left you with child, how could I let you suffer
So I married you; saved you from terrible end

Though no longer in love, I loved you so
Could not bear to think you living in shame
I decided to take this child as my own
Giving all that I had, my love and my name

Although love has grown, still my heart remains broken
Never…… did I allow it time to mend
And the questions and pain that have never been spoken
Cause bitterness and regret to perfectly blend

For I gave you my all, my everything, completely
Like a pro you expertly played your game
Things have changed now you love me completely, undoubtedly
Though it’s sad I must say I do not feel the same

Oh, worm that I am, how I’ve kept this so long
Four years, now one child has turned into two
With fenced in heart, my pretense is I’m strong
You don’t trust me, but tell me, how can I trust you?

I hate you so much for the pain that you caused me
Yet though hate you so much, still I love you the more
But I’ll show no emotion when you say that you’ll leave me
I’ve learn my lesson, you’ve hurt me before

Yet here I stand as the great pretender
To protect you three from my internal war
For your happiness, I’ll stay unhappy forever
What are we doing here? How’d it get this far?