Lucky Loser Poem by Jon Edward Walker

really I was never much,
lazy, irresponsible and selfish
with a selfish self serving outlook.
I've been this way since childhood
never been able to hold a real job,
the army picked me up though
in lieu of a felony charge at 17
and I went to war a couple times;
thought I was something.
came home, got charged with more felonies
more misdemeanors.
the courts declared me disabled,
gave me a pension and a free ride to college
apologized to me.

only in America can I be a
lucky loser.