Martyr By Degrees Poem by Gary Diamond

I often feel I say too many bad things
About a planet
That in truth isn't as evil
As my mind's veiled eye seeks to make it.

There is merit hiding out there.
Dig the ground, climb a tree
Simple joys of nature.
Yes, life can be a wonderful distraction
Taken lightly and never pondered.

All I have, all I am, is what I've been made to be
So although I judge the world too harshly
I have to.
It's how I was built.

Not to ride ego like a wave about to crash
Envelope a beach
But I feel without my negativity
Without my addressing all I feel is bad around me
People might not look
At their own lives
More positively.

I am no messiah, not much of a man really
Someone who singles out blurred visions of hate
Someone who appreciates beauty only in a pretentious way
Could stand to lighten up a little
Could stand to get off the booze.

I am setting myself up to be a martyr
If only by degrees.
Death seems too far to hold my opinions
Death taunts me by giving me many
Near-death experiences, even when i was young.

I don't exaggerate and I don't tolerate hyberbole
If I seem overwrought, I don't care.
I can take doses of sub and unconcious
And ride them where I will
Maybe back to the beach
Maybe digging the sand to make a castle
Maybe setting the castle under that tree.

A martyr by degrees.
Should I be proud.
Probably not.