Maddie 'Rae' Berry

Rookie (30/3/92 / Eastwood, Sydney)

Masks I've Hidden Behind

Don't be fooled by how I act,
don't be fooled by the posterior I show.
For I have thousands of masks
though none of them are me.

I give the impression that I’m secure, upbeat
and confident.
But inside I am really insecure.

Confidence is my name and coolness is my claim
I’m the one that’s in command but don't believe my lies

Beneath me dwells who I really am,
alone in darkness and fear.
I hide this from everybody because I don't want them to know

That I instantly freeze at the thought of my weakness being exposed.
So this is why I create masks to hide behind,
to let me pretend to be someone better than I am.
To shield myself from their knowing glance but this glance is my salvation,
the only salvation that I know of if it is followed by acceptance and love.

But I don't tell anyone, I don't try
because I am afraid to speak, I’m afraid your glance won’t give me,
the love and acceptance I need

So I begin to show my collection of masks,
I chatter aimlessly in suave tones of small talk and I tell you everything that means nothing
and nothing of what means everything to me of the battle within.

So next time you see this, don't be fooled, listen to me.
Hear what I am really sating
I don't like to hide...
I'd really like to be loved, genuine and me but you to help me.
You have to lend me your hand and understand.

Each time you are gentle and kind, my heart beats a new hope.
Small at first but it begins to grow with your sensitivity and understanding
You bring life to me, I wish to tell you that.
I want you to know how important you are to me
by being the creator of me...if you choose...

You alone can break the walls I tremble behind,
you can remove the masks, please don’t walk by.
I fight for everything I long for,
but isn't love stronger then these horrid walls in this, lies my hope.
Bang down my walls and make them crash to the ground but be gentle

Who am I?
You may ask
For I am someone you know.
I am every man you'll ever meet and
I am every woman you'll ever know.

Submitted: Monday, February 11, 2008
Edited: Thursday, April 09, 2009

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