Meaninglessness Poem by lalitha iyer

No meaning could I find
for living
yet I wake up in the morn
cook and comb like a doll
bathe and bake on a call
the only thing I feel good
is to sleep and let loose ground
Can u explain y I live
my hairs turn grey now
my limbs all tardy
pain is pinching my buttocks
my bones are steel rods
jutting from the drying flesh
I still am alive
could you tell me why I am
who am I?
my parents are dead
my roots already cut
my child does not understand
what my confusion is all about
I am asking questions
but cannot find a single one answer
money is not my need
my need is the reason for this deed
I didnot find god
my searches were scant for reward
yet after digging a lot of mud
from my mind I feel I am no more
the person I thought me like sky
slipped through my fingers
hours are not filled with romance
days don't take me to songs of strings
I just don't feel that I belong to any of the things
that is here, that cheers and bears
my house is not mine
and my body too repels me at times
i wonder y I carry this trunk
which adds pain to my junk
be positive, yes, be positive
yet what poetry when clothed in finest silk
could alleviate poverty of mind and matter
money can buy things external
what will buy you living urge within
my dears, still i like a kid of five and one
keep on staring at the crowd effects
and grow numb and frozen with every day.