Million Deaths Poem by Akhtar Jawad

I see birth of my million deaths,
I shall die million times,
before I really die.
The pain that I shall no more see
this beautiful earth,
the limits of my sights,
I know as skies,
and hot dance of nature,
between the earth and the skies,
the stars and the Milky Way,
the sun and the moon,
the clouds that rise from earth
and rain back on earth,
the greenery and its colorful kids,
the sweet soft flowers,
with colors and aroma.
I shall not taste the delicious fruits
and shall not drink water
from naughty rivers,
from charming streams,
and I shall not see the beautiful birds,
joining their nibs on a tall tree,
behind green leaves and pink flowers.
How many deaths I shall face,
To think of losing my sight,
I could never count.

I shall not listen to the music of winds,
and lovely sound of sexy downpours,
the bells that ring
and the human voice
that calls to bow the head
before someone who created
and forgot me.
I shall not smell the fragrance of rose
Jasmine and queen of night,
and appetizing smell of spicy dishes
coming from my kitchen.
I shall not kiss her soft lips,
That still appear to me
pink petals of a rose.
I shall not kiss foreheads
of my children and grandchildren
before they sleep or they depart.
How many deaths I shall face,
to think of losing my senses,
I could never count.

I don't know if I shall cease to think,
but to think,
that I shall no more think after my death
is a soothing relief.
Man can live with rest and peace,
having lost all his senses,
but if he thinks after his death,
the pain of loosing loved ones,
will not be tolerable for him.
I think if I shall cease to think,
God was happy with me
when I really expired,
and if I think even after my death,
I shall take it as
God was unhappy with me
when I really expired,
leaving me alone
busy in counting my million deaths!