Misery Is Just Another Number Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

'Ladies and gentlemen,
It is our pleasure to present...
The first televised broadcast of,
'Misery Is Just Another Number' show.
And each week we will pick,
A contestant from our audience who believes...
Their suffering to do has been worse,
Than anyone else.
Everyone...
Please focus your attention to the monitors.
When you see yourself on the screen,
Please join us here on the stage.
And...
Let's see which one of you miserable people,
Wins our first prize.
Roll cameras!
Stop.'

~Ahhh. Ahhh. Ahhh.
It's me. That's me.
I have been so miserable all of my life.
Finally. Finally, I am being acknowledged for it.
What do I win? What do I win? ~

'Congratulations.
Remember those 12 children you fathered,
Many years ago?
All by different young women.'

~Do tell me.~

'Yes.
We've located each one of them.
And guess what?
We've located 'their' children as well.
Drumroll please.
And...
Believe this or not,
$150,000.00 has been claimed...
As child support payments you have yet to pay.
Today you will either pay cash.
Or...
Go straight to jail.
And you know what this means? '

~I'm going to stay miserable,
For the rest of my life? ~

'Yes. Yes. Yes.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Give this man a standing ovation...
For accepting our first,
'Misery Is Just Another Number' award.'