My Dealings With Various Cabbages Poem by Torben Duncan

The savoy cabbage was the first I dealt with
I boiled it in my broth
and by broth I mean a molten lake
where I cook all my stuff

the savoy cabbage mocked me
so I ate it up
I thought that I had killed it
I thought it was gone for good
but soon it would return

one night while I was sleeping
it grew strength and power
it grabbed the lever in my belly
and promptly took control

it made me take revenge
on all the people in the world
who eat cabbage by force
without written permission

however it turned out
that this was nearly everyone
thje cabbage got deppressed
so instead released a solo song

it used my body but not my voice
it sung like angel song
it sung about not hurting the green
and to love everyone

nobody got the message
but everybody liked the tune
it went to number one
and was played at raves all night

the cabbage literally swelled with success
and gave up on its quest
it let fame and fortune turn it
to the medias little pet

it left my body for a photo shoot
with heat and nuts and zoo
it was the uncovered exposure
of the cabbage who sang so great

the headlines roared that I was a front
the cabbage was the real talent
I gave my story to the sun
and they turned my words to slander

so now I sit at home
I will never eat savoy
I simply eat oxheart
who I've had no bad dealings with

but one day an oxheart will take me
win me an oscar or two
then leave my body and take my awards
and I will sell my cabbage ridden story!