My Erstwhile Crocodile-Life Poem by Margaret Alice

....Philosophising about Life

Looks like I can't think outside the box
certain lines laid down rigidly by either myself -
or another mind living inside my head
that determines the form and direction of mind and my life
like those invisible Ley Lines
criss-crossing France, England and Europe
postulated by New Age writers - or maybe
there are special codes in my head - as described
by Dan Brown in Da Vinci's Code -
that set the course and flow
of my thoughts - and I mistakenly thought
we are creating our own reality!

I must accept that although
something within me might be directing - it
is not ME, not the EGO I thought
should be called the REAL me - but something
in my subconscious, something I can't feel or see
that refuses to look at some things
that I want to see, refusing to create
situations, characters and stories
I think interesting - even refusing
to flow with my daydreams and plans...
thus I have to assume that when
we arrange Life's Script in Framework 2 behind

The world we can see, I must have accepted
a part with very strict rules - and it is irksome
to live life in the way that I do! - because
whenever something good happens or
I have great fun and walk on the clouds
something in my brain starts shutting down -
when I have a great vision, filled with elation
I crash down to earth and fall into blackness -
now I understand why my favourite poet
Marais - was a morphine addict and
why he wrote that acidic pain was contained
in every sweet wine, in every red rose - he must

Have felt the same let-down after every thing good
and it makes such good sense to me
that Jonker ended life by walking into the sea -
but this power in my mind that won't let me be
and live life wantonly - won't let me die either
but keeps me around to feel all the Emptiness
of this Lonely Life - this must the Karma
I have gathered before - probably in
a previous life cycle, I must have been a crocodile
no wonder I like swimming so much - it is
a clear indication of my crocodile past -
and here I was hoping it indicated

A previous life as a dolphin - friendly and sweet -
but no, that would have reaped me such good results
therefore I must have been a crocodile very fiendish
and now pay the price for my erstwhile
crocodile life!