My Journey Towards Salvation Poem by Claudia Krizay

If I were one of the robins- many which I have beheld or
A fawn in the wild-
I would fly above the towering trees or
Freely run across the trail
I walk every day and I run or fly
Only because my soul has been
Betrayed and my spirit, terrorized-
Up high above in the trees
I would touch the sky before the rain
Began to fall upon the essence of time and
My hope would be for the rain to wash away my fears,
Drowning them in the abyss of nature-
To realize I am none but a wounded spirit,
Who can only walk this path and at the spur of
A fleeting moment break into a run- as
I search beneath fallen branches and as
I adore the flowers- daffodils donning their
Golden attire and roses with their delicate fragrances-
I would search for what some have deemed deadly silence but from
A glance from my ebony-hued eyes, never deadly but
From the heart of life’s treasures-
Some peace of mind and blessed solitude-
This path I walk is mine alone and those who follow behind or
Walk slowly before me have robbed me of my feeling of
Wellbeing as I have called myself often a solitary princess,
Robed in my phantasmal armor-
Somehow the voices of others threaten as they whisper callously or
Laugh ruthlessly - the voices only I can hear have often been
Accusatory or commanding but do not evoke the rage that
Evolves from my inner core of the space invaders, so toxic to my vicinity –
As I approach civilization, I can hear children screaming and
My utmost fantasy would be to aim a gun and fire-
It would joyfully mean the end of all humanity and I would be left alone-
Alone in my world, my safe space, revolving about a sun that shines
It’s light upon my once darkening world- if there is a God I pray for
Salvation from the pain that I feel so profoundly, the madness
That separates me from reality and to see this world and its inhabitants
In a different light would be a blessing in many ways-
But now I can only become an eagle of mercy calling upon myself to
Lift my imaginary wings and to soar away from veracity until the day
The rain stops falling and there will be no clouds to hide beneath-
Voices of others shall become welcome, kind and inviting, although
In a non menacing way- or as a robin flying above the treetops
Looking down at the grassy fields below- innocent and not afraid-
I sit alone in my home, the doors chained but the curtains open- I see that
Rain is falling hard- I am a wounded sprit with some hope for alleviation
From all of the pain, despair and trepidation –
Meanwhile I still love the flowers, their beauty and delicate fragrances and
When the sun rises above the skyline I will walk slowly towards rejuvenation-
With hope to find a path to safely walk upon-
That courageous and hopeful part of my being believes that
One day I shall walk that path towards deliverance and serenity
In some other lifetime before another storm approaches-