My Love For Thee Poem by Rose Rosado

'Eep! This made me cry when
i was making this from the beginning...'

Giving a smile that
don't mean a thing,
laugh at a joke that
really isn't funny,
im hurting myself inside,
you just leave me alone.

you hug your girlfriend
with your love and respect,
i give a greeting oh a 'hello, '
and yet i still give a smile,
so i wont blow my cover.

we chat and we hang,
just like normal buddies
would, you'd hold my hand and
give me hugs, just like
a true friend would do, you
help me in my situations,
which aren't really true.

i'd lie to make myself feel safe,
knowing that what i say would
mean nothing, i laugh, i cry,
i wonder, i smile, but its not
the same from what i have done.

i did something terrible, i've
done something wrong, something
that im not sure it would be
forgiven. im telling you now,
i'm sorry.

i'm sorry from what i did to
hurt you, im sorry from
what i said made you feel awful,
im sorry that all this time,
i was lying about my life,
im sorry, im sorry.

i told you i was beaten,
i told you i was starved,
i told you i was a foster child,
but all is just a big
pile of lies.

i was so angry, i felt
sad and i kept on crying,
i wanted to make it go
away, but i took it on you,
and it made me feel worse.

i lied and i lied, hiding
from the truth, hiding the real
me, i was crushed when you
said those harmful words to me,
i wanted to get you back,
and so i did.

i was so caught up in the
moment, i knew i would regret
this in the end, but i have
learned my lesson but it wont
change the fact that i lied.

it's ok if you hate me now,
its ok if you don't talk to me
again, its ok if you call me
names, i pretty much deserve it.

the truth is that i have
been living at home.. living
with dad, my brother is on vaca.
from puerto rico here, im
having a good time but
still feel the huge guilt
in my heart.

i couldn't sleep at night,
i kept on waking up at night
because of what i did,
i am such an awful person..
i don't deserve a good friend like
you, i am deeply sorry...

but this is one thing
that i cannot lie, its something
that came from deep in my
heart, something that i cannot
hide.... i still.... love you.

i love you with all my heart
and it kills me to see you cry,
even though your not with me,
im just glad to see you smile.

i know your happy, and im
glad that your happy,
im happy because i still
get to talk to you, and
still make me laugh and smile
and have fun.

but now that you know the truth,
i guess this would be the end....

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'I saw you with her today
and as i watched with my fake
smile i could hear my heart break
and i could feel it being torn
apart. Because it was then that
i realized that i am truly a
friend and that's all i'll ever
be.' ♥

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