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clayton young

Rookie (3/10/93 / Round Rock Texas)

My Pain

Outward pain is a feeling I despise. Taking in what you deny is real, what cannot happen and what I won’t believe is true, is all of that which I cannot stand that lies within you. Taking in what I hate is something I do on a day to day basis, and that is something of which I can no longer bear because this is what I despise in everything that is you and that is left in my life. I cannot bear to see him like this nor can I stand see how well you thrive under this pain when it is unbearable to see you, or him, like that. I don’t think all that is here is even began to be understood by any being or even a fiber of my own being. If I could stand that which I feel or of which is left in you I couldn’t bear to take it away for you have too much faith in that which cannot be. If anything exists that I still feel hope and love upon it is you and you alone that I cannot stand to be rid of. If anything is to be taken from me let it not be you or I shall fall upon myself and all I love for I cannot stand it anymore. Taken by this is what I cannot love anymore because this is too much to take or stand and I am losing my grip on what I feel as I fall apart to you and your love but I don’t know why it has to be like this when everything is so simple to be had and loved. I cannot stand it but I love it for it has become my life that I live and without it I would be dead. But I can take no more of it and I still have to much hate for it not to change before I lose all that I still have a grip on. I run so far and so hard that I cannot think that this pain could catch up or stay with me, but it has taken over as I give in to what I hate and to what is much stronger then I could ever be, don’t let me act like this before I am gone I have to fix what is wrong for I cannot stand to be gone before I fix this and yet I cannot stand to stay here for one more minute

Clayton J. young

Submitted: Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Edited: Friday, May 01, 2009

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