My Personal Demon Poem by May N

You haunt my days
when I imagine you beside me
You linger in my dreams
the moment I close my eyes
yet no matter how hard I try
no matter how long I resist you
my efforts are futile

Images of you rush around me
even as I try and fight you off
you manage to defeat me
your words used to lure me
echoing in my head as words cut deeply
Your lies slip off your tongue
and half of me listens, the other cringes

There hasn’t been a time
when I wasn’t in awe of you
but this for a different reason
I wonder why you influence me so easily
knowing all along I was weak
Hating myself as much as I hated you
Wishing I had the power to harm you
as you had done to me those times before

You ask for my forgiveness
and I scoff at your presence
holding back the urge to slap you
yet even as the hatred burns inside me
You give me the eyes that once laid on me
sorrow and desire seen clear in them
and once again, I’m sent hurling through emotions

Desperately clawing my way out of your clutches,
You never seem to let go completely
knowing fully well that you are my weakness
using the information to your advantage
keeping me around like a toy
waiting to be played with until you get bored

Frustration creases my brow,
as I always seem to fall back to you
knowing you are the one I crave
as I always succumb to your power
Wishing I had the strength to resist
but knowing I would follow you

And I’m stuck once again at the beginning
as you continue to appear wherever I look
torturing me on the inside when everything screams your name
even when I try and block the craving
you’re always there, smiling at my pain
knowing that you are wanted but not needed
laughing as I try to convince myself without success

it seems that I’m destined for this life
as everything around me complicates
and you go on unrelenting of your torture
inflicting me pain so long as you live
stringing me along like a puppet
waiting for your commands

as I realize I will never be free
as fate fought against me this time
until I can cut the strings holding m
freeing myself from your hold
as I run far away from your evil presence
and kill the darkness surrounding you
until you are nothing more than a fading memory
brought to life from the bowels of my own hell