***my Way Of Life*** Poem by mona martinez

I continue to hurt people,
by doing things I shouldn't,
but in the moment of doing it,
it like none of that matters to me,
I just want the pain to stop,
I want the feeling to go away,
by putting myself back in abuse,
of some form,
I can handle the feeling that come with it,
because I've been doing it for so long,
tell me to deal with feelings,
that are completely new to me,
and it difficult to do,
I don't know how to deal,
with the normal feelings of life,
my life has never been normal,
my view on love and men,
are very distorted,
I won't always do,
what seems right to do,
part of me don't know how to do it,
it's why I continue to do what I know,
people may not understand,
that it the way I deal with life.
01/27/13