Need To Wake Up Poem by Andrus Cassian

One moment too late, a misconception
what happened to a time well spent
scorched by anger, bedeviled by sorrow, entombed by history
One day was thought to be bad enough
yet it expanded and a week was born
dwelling on the past, perfect innocent happiness
what I learned on when all else failed miserably
Is this a game to nature
why must you toy with me, break me into submission
here take this knife and twist it into my spine
so I know which side you're condemning to be on
so I know which side you're getting your orders from
so I know that'll you stab me in the back at any given opportunity
if not just be on your way
so I can continue my pointless journeys
of chasing rivers upstream to see where they begin
while everyone else in the world can see
I'm just making revolutions in this maze I can't break free
Does love mean anything anymore, I dare to dread not
marriage is more like a chore than ever
and that word itself has many levels from attic to basement floor
now the world uses it as something more delirious, a scapegoat
Everything is going downhill
a fallout of a Wednesday falling away
familiar emotions are the expressions of the day
as I twist and contort, transform into a traditional wolf
howling at the edge of my own little island
for this the only place that could ever make me feel! ! ! .....
make me feel...better...
but I'm never better...I'm never happy...
I'm always alone...always...bitter...
can someone please wake me up from this hallucination