Never Again... Poem by Kristin Nicole RothDavis

Never Again...
I've come to believe my soul's on the other side
Feeling like I'm on a constant rollar coaster ride.
Breathing heavily and skin flushed
Blood is boiling as my heart is crushed,
Not knowing for certain which one you really love
The woman of your dreams, of my past
Or the woman you transformed at last;
You say I've been sent from above?

Confusion sets in when your tone changes
and your mood is in high ranges,
Feels like the weight of the world
When all my screaming goes unheard
Frozen inside, reaching for the unknown
creating a sense of unfamiliarty
Tell me, who am I in your eyes when
you don't even hear my cries?

I have changed and in the meantime
everyone around seems deranged,
You promise the sun and the moon
Telling me that this will work out soon,
You use to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm frightened by your every sight!

Doesn't matter, it's not the case
There's just too much that time can not erase!
Months later and realization kicks in
Deeper and deeper, I realize
While time has now silenced my cries
For now I am not fearfully alone
I'm just alone...

My days go by slowly while my nights are just nights
All my fears and frights have been released,
My focus is soley on being pleased,
No more of my heart pounding in my head
For in my world you are dead,
Numbness isn't a cure, that's for sure!

The day that you step on my grounds once again,
~~~~Face to face~~~~
I will with one glance put you in your place!
Cruelty isn't of any desire here
Just want it known that I refuse to look @ you with fear!
I will not wipe another tear in your honor from my cheek
Even when the moment couldn't be more bleak!

Your voice will never decieve
and your betraying love I choose to not recieve!
When you reach out there will be nothing there
not of anger, not of rage, dispair or even the least amount of care!
The only thing I'll remember of you
is how you were in the end,
All sacred memories from this point forward descend!

May you be dealt to reckon with a beast of your stature
With every ounce of breath be forced to feast on the diseased,
while your heart is at play, looking to be pleased
Then at the last you recieve your last token
Silence will be your worse fear, for you will be broken,
Without you I can now breathe when I've spoken!

These lonely arms will repent
Wisely using every waking moment spent...
I will no longer live for the wrong reasons
and take heed of the blessings in the seasons!
I will close my eyes; ~EXHALES~
When I release all feelings and my inner pain expels!
I welcome new found peace
now that you have officially been released!

I will walk many a'miles empty handed
but I'll be damned if I'm left stranded,
For I rememeber quite well how it felt to be branded!
I proudly hold my head up high
and praise the One while reaching to the sky!