Nightmares (English Sonnet) Poem by Gert Strydom

Nightmares (English Sonnet)

Rating: 4.0


There sometimes is really bad kind of dreams
which you want to avoid, to be waking,
when in your ears you hear your own screams,
while your body, mind and soul is aching

These dreams return like a bomb ever ticking
to the time that they come back with anxiety,
as if the past, the time of war is sticking
its fingers in the present life with impropriety.

Night after night as in sleep you plunge in
again you are in cover behind enemy lines,
you dream of escaping barely by your skin,
where you were trapped by some landmines,

about shooting to kill to be able to survive,
about as a duty taking someone else’s life.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Technical critic 27 February 2022

Line 7 has one extra syllable.

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Technical critic 27 February 2022

Line 8 has FOUR extra syllables.

0 0 Reply
Technical critic 27 February 2022

Line ten has three extra syllables.

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Technical critic 27 February 2022

Line 11 = one extra syllable.

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Technical critic 27 February 2022

NOT an English sonnet. The pattern is not iambic.

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Technical critic 27 February 2022

Oh, one more thing: on the last two lines, survive and life do not rhyme when spoken by speakers of English.

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Technical critic 27 February 2022

Remember, EVERY line must have TEN syllables, PLUS, the stress pattern must be IAMBIC, or it is not an English sonnet. Keep writing. You will get it.

0 1 Reply
Technical critic 27 February 2022

Line 14, also 3 extra syllables.

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Technical critic 27 February 2022

Line 13, three extra syllables.

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Technical critic 27 February 2022

Line 12 is missing two syllables.

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Gert Strydom

Gert Strydom

Johannesburg, South Africa
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