Note To You Poem by A Waltz For Zizi

I make notes of you
I make them
to remember
why I hate you
and why I hate myself

I make notes of you
I make them all
to remember myself
to stay away from you
and from the city
that took my soul

I make notes of you
when I start to complain
about life
when I need to remember
what real pain feels like

I make notes of you
as an echo, a residual force
that pushed me to write
tormented
for almost two years

I make notes of you
because it's your birthday tomorrow
and you are far and
I don't have enough heart
to call you

I make notes of you because
I don't want to be noticed
(by you)
anymore

I make notes of you because
notes don't take as much time
or feeling
and don't need names

because you were cruel to me once
and I promised to become a savage too

because I feel it's time
I shed the skin you kissed and touched,
the dreams you know

because it's a shame to keep
religion, television, internet,
dreaming, sleeping, writing,
being angry, being imperfect
and all the other f...... things
that destroy me.