Tiffany Rose Moczydlowski

Rookie - 1 Points (November 28,1996 / Springfield, MA)

Obsolete


Her past was constantly
chasing her.
No matter how much she
........................
........................
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  • Freshman - 1,391 Points Kevin Patrick (8/20/2012 4:54:00 PM)

    I like that you are not conforming to typical poetic archetypes you have a more modernist sensibilities, it’s still beautiful rich in textures and is a very inviting read that never feels dull, a solid write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kelly Seale (8/12/2012 3:47:00 PM)

    Her past is Obsolete, because of the events that have transpired to bring her her to this very moment in time... I get it Tiffany, Very good, very INGENIOUS. (Had to look it up to make sure of spelling and usage correct. Yep!)
    I have a similar one called -The Slasher, and also Fade to Black, and also Innocent Bride, and also Possesson.
    Great Ink Tiffany! ! ! ; -)
    -Kelly. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Caroline Bulleck (7/28/2012 6:31:00 PM)

    As I was reading the poem, I got more and more into it., feeling the same emotions the girl was. When I reached the end, it felt like someone stabbed me in my heart! I love poems that are loaded with impact, emotion and imagery. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Keiran Bateman (7/3/2012 3:34:00 PM)

    I really like this poem, because it tells a great story and you are very good at using adjectives to create images in the readers mind, but I agree that it needs to be broken down, as the stanzas are long. Apart from that, it is well written, GOOD JOB! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 22 Points Corrina Kavea (6/30/2012 5:07:00 PM)

    I like the short story...but.... the stanzas need either breaking down to create more flow or grouped like prose, if its to be presented as a poem. Perhaps less auxiliary words and more metaphor's? other than that, very creative indeed. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 63 Points John Raubenheimer (6/29/2012 12:42:00 PM)

    An ambitious poem that maintains its building threat to the very end where the dagger strikes. I don't know what the traumatic incident in Arianna's past was - perhaps I don't need to know - but it's effects are well shown. A sea of tears is a cliche. You can do without those. And and sin struck me as odd. But all the rest nestles in my heart quite well, unlike the dagger! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Anele The_african_son Potelwa (umbhali_wasembo) (6/25/2012 3:15:00 PM)

    You such a profound writter, I took so long to comment on this writte because I really did not know what to say, but due to the amazing and interesting write, I just went to the imaginary world

    The_African_Son

    (Th³_ªfR¹cª¬_šºN) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Theo Williams (6/25/2012 10:11:00 AM)

    Wow your poems are just whoaa! you are soo gifted! You must have an extremely creative imagination :) well done (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 98 Points Terry O'leary (6/25/2012 9:45:00 AM)

    Very nicely witten Tiffany, especially godd for a 'highschooler'. Good descriptive images. I don't think I could give you any pointers... I'm just a poetaster myself... trying to learn by experience... I hope you read a lot... that's the only advice I can give you... the more you read, the more your brain/feelings will develop, enabling you to 'dip into' the (obvious) creative talent you have... Good luck... Terry (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 10 Points Abdullah Jamil (6/25/2012 7:52:00 AM)

    It's a good narrative poem. Well expressed at your age. I would suggest you to be more concise in writing. I means small sentences would express many things. Please bring more examples of nature in the poem. That make the poems artistic. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 253 Points Ency Bearis (6/25/2012 7:05:00 AM)

    You had composed a prose poetry, well told narrative poem and this is good write from a young lady like you. Notable cogitation. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Ace Of Black Hearts (6/24/2012 7:08:00 PM)

    When their is no way out.
    Their is no doubt of the heart thumping pure adrenaline and emotion that is flowing.
    A desire for closure.
    A book slammed shut never be reopen.
    When a hard decision is made the consequences of it become so much less important.
    A good story is one that never really ends. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 4 Points Martin O'Neill (6/24/2012 4:37:00 PM)

    I confess to expecting a teenage emotional description of a suicide attempt. Your ending took me by surprise and the poem took on a deeper meaning. The description of emotion is dramatic and moving and the build up was really good.
    Well written. (Report) Reply

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